12 hours of sleep and all the almonds. guilt. a real rest day.

my body was screaming at me yesterday.

and in turn, i had to keep from screaming at everyone.

between being in two weddings, traveling to and from the west coast, keeping up with long runs, a very limited diet, hip injury and a peak mileage week… i. am. tired.

so tired in fact that keeping my conversation in english yesterday was a strain. on the subway home, the idea of of walking up the stairs seemed unfair. everyone was moving too slowly. my legs hurt. i was starving. so thirsty. am i home yet? why do i live so far from the train? i have to pick up my dry cleaning, there’s no way in hell i’m picking up my dry cleaning. i want a glass, no, a bottle, or two bottles of wine, all the wine.

i hit the grocery store, a piece of poached salmon, ok, protein, and almonds, a container of almonds. ok, this is a lot of protein. how many calories is this? I’m too tired to count. how am i supposed to know how many calories this is? maybe i’ll eat this and go run. do i need lettuce? no, I’m not making a salad, its too complicated. maybe i’ll run ten miles. what was my last rest day? 8 days ago? ok i won’t work out.

wait, i just ate all the almonds. all of them. i should really run. that was a lot of almonds, like 700 calories at least. I’m over my day count. this has never happened. i can’t get out of bed. is 7:30pm too early to go so sleep?

 

and then i passed out.

and i woke up this morning, 6am, weighed the same, despite the almonds. hit a spin class. my legs are still sore, but i’m glad i gave myself a rest day. though ‘gave myself’ is a stretch, i don’t think i could have run yesterday, i was broken.

i’m clearly not good at taking rest days. and here i am, at work, googling ultra marathons…

 

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