nice obsession fatso

i’ve been a little scattered since the Marseille marathon. i guess there hasn’t been much time to process the trip, and the race. i was sort of immediately pulled back into work, a race in DC, and my crappy dating life…and more running.

i keep telling myself i’m going to take a break after the next race, but that never seems to happen. i feel scared of not having a race ahead of me. i also feel like i’m in this top shape of my life, so why slow down. i also feel like maybe in a few years my life will be dramatically different (who knows…kids? a husband? anything that keeps me from being able to run whenever and wherever i want).

but more than any of that i suffer from massive disassociation and i mostly feel awake and alive and part of the world when i am running, training, racing.

i don’t really know how to explain any of this- which is probably why i haven’t been updating much.

its almost like the more i feel like a runner, the more scared i feel of not being able to run anymore…and like i have to pack all these races in while i can.

a codependent relationship with exercise- of COURSE i’d figure out how to do that.

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1 Comment

  1. DON’T DO IT. I suffered my stress fracture by trying to cram in races. It’s SO tempting. And you know what? After the 6 weeks I took off with absolutely ZERO running, I CAME BACK FASTER.

    Like

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