yes. you told me so.

i can count at least 15 people, friends, family, teammates, strangers from the blogosphere…all of whom have said “slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself”.

and i kept running. 18 miles after having sat on a plane. 6 miles the day after a fall. and finally, secretly training for a marathon that i am to run in 6 days.

dude. if you’re planning to run a marathon without telling people who love you- you’re probably hurting yourself.

i didn’t even really ask why i was keeping this a secret. i got a good time in the marseille marathon last month, and i wanted to see how much better i can perform on a flat course, that was all.

i didn’t want my family to worry about me

i didnt want people to try to talk me out of it.

i would be lying if i said this didnt give me a little bit of anxiety.

and so, friday evening after work, i was on a short easy run to get to the track meet i was volunteering at- and boom, and hit the sidewalk. and as i was falling i’m thinking no no no no this cant cant cant be happening and as i tried to sit up- i couldn’t. the wind was knocked out of me. i am a healthy, super fit 32 year old woman, and i couldn’t sit up. i finally drag myself up, i am bleeding like crazy, and i am hysterical. there is a pain in my ribs that i’ve never felt.

long story short, after lots of shock, and tears, and a ride from a really nice NBR runner, i got an xray- not broken, phew. i was told i couldn’t do the 4 mile race i was meant to run sunday (obviously), and that i will very likely not be well enough to run the marathon next week (obviously).

it hurts to breathe in.

they said its probably fractured, and that i can get a CAT scan, but in any case, there’s nothing to do for it. i’ve been laying down with ice and on pain killers for 48 hours.

it still hurts as much as it did friday.

i feel so broken. and so sad. and so stupid.

i know i’ve been pushing myself. but this feels totally unfair.

yesterday, like a moron, i walked uphill on a treadmill for two hours. i had read that its a good way to maintain fitness without running. it was painful. and given how i’m feeling today- i’m thinking that was probably a mistake.

i made a deal with myself- i wont work out for three days (at all- like no walking) if i do a three day juice cleanse.

i feel insane. someone telling me i cant run is like telling me i’m punished.

i guess i’ve been tired. and over training.

im icing. im praying for a fast recovery.

new plan- train for BK half May 20th, then focus on chicago and NY…no more marathons til the fall.

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