the humility of recovering from an injury

if you read my blog you know i enjoy pushing myself.

this morning i was getting dressed and i realized that since december of 2015, i have been marathon training, pretty much nonstop.

between running the marseille marathon march 19, 12 hours of flying home, immediately throwing myself back into work, still training, bussing to DC running a 10 mile race, bussing back to NY, more work, flying to san francisco, falling, sitting on a plane back to NY, running 18 miles, speed work…i guess i’m not *shocked* that i fell again. and i guess this is the universe insisting i not run a marathon this weekend. (goodbye $125 entry fee…)

i fell down, very hard, on a run last friday, and have spent most of this week in bed icing my ribs which where badly bruised/not broken/possibly fractured…on Sunday I had gone to the gym and walked uphill on the tread for a few hours- this felt pretty lousy.

last night, i was feeling pretty good so i went back to the gym and walked on an inclined treadmill. i have to say. i felt a lot of shame. which i know is so dumb! but i was envious of everyone running. i wanted to move. I felt out of shape, and went back and forth between feeling pretty good, and feeling like i shouldn’t be risking anything. in the end i walked uphill at at 15% incline at a 4mph pace for 3.1 miles. stretched, and went home.

i can’t tell you how humbling it is to have to slow down. to have your body say no when your brain wants to sign up for every bootcamp class and run every race. i can’t tell you how emotionally breaking it has been to not run for a week. i know that sounds ridiculous- its a week- i should be grateful that nothings broken and that I’m not in bed for months. it’s just hard.

i will never take another run for granted! and i will really, really, try and listen to my exhausted body more.

this has been really hard


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